WARNING: This could be very depressing and rate high on the crying factor....you've been warned. So, I had to work today, which wasn't the tragedy by the way. We're talking about a person who's birthday is on Christmas, so working on a "holiday" isn't that major. Plus, Landen's not big enough to really care about Mother's Day anyway, but I digress from my story. I've found that writing out my thoughts helps me to cope with difficult situations, and today was VERY difficult. Without giving away too much information, because I want to keep my license, I had a very young patient pass away today. In fact, I had only seen this certain patient for a total of about 25 minutes before they stopped breathing, and their heart stopped beating. As a nurse, all I could do during the whole code was think, what could I have seen, what more could I have done!? The worst part of it was when the doctor went out and informed the family that the patient didn't make it. All I could think of was in the scriptures when they described a "wailing". Even the babies of the family members were screaming. It was the most horrible, traumatic experience I've been through! And, I just kept thinking of my own precious baby at home, and what I would be doing if that were my child that had just unexpectedly passed away, on Mother's Day of all days. This patient had literally gone from living a normal life 24 hours earlier, to passing away. Having the beliefs that I do, it's very comforting to imagine this patient being welcomed "home" by all previous family members, and what this patient, who had so much to look forward to, and to do in their life, was now going to be doing to continue on our Heavenly Father's work. I am continually amazed at how much Heavenly Father utilizes me to help some of his children, and it was comforting to me at least, that I was in the room, and attempting to do everything I could when my patient passed away. So, tonight I came home, shed some more tears for this poor mother who lost her "baby" today (even though I'd pretty much been crying off and on all day anyway), and snuggled my own just a little tighter. I am SO grateful to be a mother! The biggest thing that I can say from this whole experience is that mothers really do know when something is not right with their child. This mother did not leave her child's side the whole time, even though they were at the age to be considered an adult and could make their own decisions. She KNEW something was wrong, so trust yourself as a mother. Heavenly Father will help you protect your babies. Again, sorry for the depressing post, but I needed to get this off my chest. Brian really was sweet in trying to make the rest of my day a good one, but my heart is still aching for this poor mother and family on this Mother's Day.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
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5 comments:
I was bawling as I read this. Thank u for the reminder of how grateful I should be.
ON a side note, I could NEVER be a nurse.
Oh Daleen. Love you chick. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I'm not even sure what to say to that, except I totally agree with what you said. We are truly blessed to have the knowledge we have and to be entrusted as mothers over Heavenly Fathers sweet little spirits. After our loved ones die it is comforting to know that they are in a better place, doing a greater work, but that doesn't mean we miss them any less... Love you Dee!
I'm so sorry that you had to witness this tragedy. I went to work today and a coworker was talking about a friend of his that had died yesterday at Madison at the young age of 22. It sounded like who you were talking about, so I thought of you. It is so comforting to know what we know about the afterlife, that's the only you can really find hope in when something like this happens.
Thank you for sharing this even though it was hard. I really do take for granted that I am a mother and that we are healthy. I am so grateful for the spirit that lets us know that there might be something wrong.
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